We all have our parts to play

Posted: November 21, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Watching reading and participating in group activities is really very interesting. It seems every time there is some type of group doing something people in the group take on roles and work towards that goal within these roles. One of the most common groups in the world is the family.

David Kantor a psychologist who specializes in family relations has spent some serious time studying family and group dynamics and he has been kind enough to catalog the roles of individuals within groups. Of course here they are: the initiatior, the supporter, the dissenter and the neutural party.  When anyone looks at this list they will almost always find fault with “the dissenter”. “He is a curmudgeon”  “a naysayer”, the current president has labeled the republican party (who are often dissenters of his initiatives) as “the party of no”. Despite the negative connotations we immediately have for the dissenters and the word no we should keep in mind that no is often time a necessary word and that within a group everyone is needed.

Let’s play it out…. The family decides to buy a new car. The dad drives the family to the dealership, he finds the most cherry mustang there is. Dad in this case is the initiator. The mother points out the struggles of fitting the family in the, yes cherry however small stang, and moves towards the suvs and vans. Mom in this case is the dissenter. The son Jimmy loves the Stang idea and wants the stang despite his ever lengthening appendages and the catortionist like movements he will have to do to fit in the back seat of the two door American muscle machine. Jimmy is the supporter. Sally wants to be home skyping with her bff about the boys they meet at the mall last week. She is totally neatural in the car process. The MOm and dad compromise on a new Ford Flex. Dad and Jimmy like it because it is not quite a suv mom loves the space and Sally looks at the time and is happy because she still has time to log in before she gets to bed.

I know the scenario is silly but we need everyone and we all have our parts to play. when we lack one of the parts of the group we lack the proper tools to make good informed decisions so while we can get at each others throats sometimes. If we keep in mind there is a need for everyone’s view points we may find that our situations will go more smoothly and our day-to-day interactions will be just a lot better




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