Our generations red A

Posted: February 27, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

There is a new and alarming trend among teens in the UK and the United States. The name of the trend is illicit and I don’t want to retype it here. If you want more information follow this link. Basically peers use social media to encourage other peers to stop being and dressing as a promiscuous teenager, however as with almost all unsolicited advice this has become a huge form of bullying. When reading the story in the UK’s Telegraph I immediately thought two things one this is sad and two is this our generations “Scarlet Letter“.  The Scarlet Letter is a romantic novel written by Nathaniel  Hawthorne. In the book the hero is a woman with a husband a country away became pregnant. She is forced by the authority in the town to wear a Scarlet A on all her clothes and becomes a social outcast. Another part of her punishment for her sin is to report to the town square where the town ridicules her for her transactions. The baby is born and the reader realizes who the father is (it is a big twist in the book I will not give it away).

More than just a romantic novel this book should serve as a lesson for the overzealous who wish to force their morals onto a population that may or may not want it. I am not a fan of sexual promiscuity. STD’s unwanted pregnancy and abusive relationships can form because of it. However because of puritanical views on sex and draconian enforcement teenagers brought up in this environment are more likely to engage in clandestine sexual promiscuity, less sexual activity but clandestine and shameful sex.

The jury is out on sex and it is a personal decision formed at an early age. It is best to keep sex personal and not public. If you are attempting to shame a person into becoming more prudent, you are a bully and wrong this I am sure off.  I have kids and they are different ages and I find myself correcting them quite often for all kinds of infractions. One infraction that seems to happen often is correcting the children for correcting their peers. I may be somewhat of a smart-alec (and I know shame on me for it), so I ask them “are you their mother?”

I don’t want to spoil the Scarlet Letter, but I will tell you this the book did not end well. Anytime we bully someone it will not end well and unsolicited advice is bullying, unless of course you are their mother than it is law!

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Next time we decide to “fix” someone who does not share our same view about anything we would do well to remember some wise words from the author of “Women are from Venus Men are from Mars. ” To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or how to do it. Generally, speaking when a woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to help a man, she has no idea of how critical or unloving she may sound to him.” John Gray speaks to the pitfalls of offering unsolicited advice between partners in a marriage, however it seems unsolicitied advice can and is toxic in any relationship dynamic. See the scarlet letter.

The best piece of advice when we are tempted to “fix” someone with advice is probably that of  the new queen of daytime television. “Don’t give advice. It will come back and bite you in the [butt]. Don’t take anyone’s advice. So, my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.”  Ellen DeGeneres, Tulane Commencement Speech, 2009

peace

john3c

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