Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

There was a movie I watched last night called, “The Perks of being a Wall flower“. This is a really good one, worth a rent!

The high school boy in the movie falls in love and reaches out to an english teacher with a question. “Why do good people love not good people?” The teacher answers with the gem that is this titles post.

Relationships in high school are tricky. Relationships in college are tricky. Relationships out of school are tricky. Relationships are tricky. Why are relationships so tricky? I thinks some insight might be found through the English teachers answer.

“We seek the love we think we deserve.”  This thought which seems to be true, leads one to believe that he or she must first love themselves before they can ever love anyone else. Love respect honor all qualities we should posses and extol on us and others.  Sometimes we get it backwards and treat others better than ourselves and then sometimes we treat us better than others. When we do these things we knock the balance of our relationship off and problems start.

I think what I find most compelling about this statement is how much control it gives the reader or receiver. Problems with a relationship? Look first within yourself. I wonder how many “problems” there would be if we all took this self-control to heart. Really became masters of our lives and controllers of our happiness through self-control, respect and love?

Just something to think about

peace

john3c

 

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I like to consider myself an optimistic person. I really truly believe every cloud has a silver lining and you will not see me knocked down for a long time. I was taught to never give up, but I have been knocked down, my share and sometimes it can be hard to get up but you have to because if you don’t get up you will never get up.

Sometimes inspiration helps us get back up people draw inspiration from god, nature and other people. Maybe you are down today, hopefully not. A good piece of inspiration for those who are down and to keep for when you get knocked down comes from ol’ blue eyes himself.

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“Nothing is impossible I have found For when my chin is on the ground I pick myself up, dust myself off Start all over again” Frank Sinatra

The words are lyrics to his song Pick yourself up. The song is a great one. see??

Please teacher, teach me somethingNice teacher, teach me somethingI’m as awkward as a camelThat’s not the worst
My two feet haven’t met yet But I’ll be teacher’s pet yet ‘Cause I’m gonna learn To dance or burst
Nothing is impossible I have found For when my chin is on the ground I pick myself up, dust myself off Start all over again
Don’t lose your confidence if you slip Be grateful for a pleasant trip And pick yourself up, dust yourself off Start all over again
Work like a soul inspired Till the battle of the day is won You may be sick and tired But you’ll be a man, my son
Will you remember the famous men Who had to fall to rise again? So take a deep breath Pick yourself up, dust yourself off Start all over again
I’ll get some self assurance If your endurance is great I’ll learn by easy stages If you’re courageous and wait
To feel the strength I want to I must hang on to your hand Maybe by the time I’m fifty I’ll get up and do a nifty
Nothing is impossible I have found For when my chin is on the ground I pick myself up, dust myself off Start all over again
Don’t lose your confidence if you slip Be grateful for a pleasant trip And pick yourself up, dust yourself off Start all over again
Work like a soul inspired Till the battle of the day is won You may be sick and tired But you’ll be a man, my son
Will you remember the famous men Who had to fall to rise again? So take a deep breath Pick yourself up, dust yourself off Start all over againThanks blue eyes

peace
john3c

First allow me to apologize to any psychiatrists reading todays post. Using the word shrink instead of your correct title was done purely to save space in the post title. I in no way want to demean an important and needed profession like yours.  Second let me finish the joke… How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one but the lightbulb really has to want to change. This is an old and funny joke which demonstrates the power of self-control. Often life can seem to be on a chaotic fast paced uncontrollable trip. We seem t o search for a way to rein it in and come up empty. This emptiness can often stem from looking in the wrong places. One thing that has become increasingly blatant, the older I get is that one person cannot control another person. The only person we can possibly control (and most of the time this can feel like an impossible task) is ourself. How we react to certain situations and treat other people are really all we can influence and learn to control.  

Trying to get a handle of our out of control lives by attempting to control others is an exercise in foolishness. If our lives our out of control it stands to reason that we need to find the reigns within ourselves.

Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene.
~ Arthur Christopher Benson~

peace john3c

Growing up  in a family with four kids and two adults as a youth I found myself traveling in my dads station wagon many times. We went to school in the morning soccer, volleyball, baseball games and practices. We took many rides to grandma’s and aunts and uncles houses.  Thinking about the car rides now I am surprised at just how much time was spent in the car. The time wasn’t that bad either one of the highlights of our time spent riding and waiting in cars would be without a doubt my dad singing to us. Dads song of choice was of course “American Pie” by Don Mclean.   The song was written in 1971 it is a great song. This was one of the first downloads I made on i tunes. If you haven’t heard the song you should download it you will love it.

By the time I was 12 years old I could plow through the first verse of the song. The lyrics are great! The song starts with “A long long time ago I can still remember when that music used to make me smile And I knew if I had my chance I could make those people dance.” See how cool is that? I will answer very! I like this part of the song a lot, because the thing is we will all get our chance to “sing” or lead and when we do I wonder what we will do and what will we make those people do?

peace

john3c

Moms’ are great right?  I mean we owe them our lives. Without our moms’ none of us would be here. We describe nature as a mother and the earth as a mother. One of the most hurtful things a child can say to another child on the playground is an insult about a mother.  

 It seems that even the greatest president who has ever lived, Honest Abe, understood how important a mother is. “I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me.  They have clung to me all my life.”  ~Abraham Lincoln

Ok so it is confession time. I moved out of the house as soon as I turned 18, but I have always made it a point to call my mother, because I love her and because my dad reminds me at least once or twice a month.   I give her a call and update her. Before I had kids the calls were about me after kids well you can guess who the calls are about. One thing that remains constant about my phone calls with my mother is the love and the strength I can draw from that.  Now where is the confess at? While it has been some time since my last phone call. I know, I know I feel horrible and I should. I actually plan on calling her Friday. Because I plan on calling I got to thinking about what I will say on Friday, and I have realized that over the years, I have less need to edit or omit stories from my conversations with her than I did before.

A good litmus test for our lives is that. If you were to have an open and candid conversation with your mother about all your actions this past month would you e ashamed?    I know that is tough right? The thing is though if we are doing something that we don’t want our mother to know about should we really be doing that?

Just something to think about

 

peace

john3c

Thursday I posted a quote from someone who has truly helped shape our society for the better. It was ““Do not Impose on others what you do not wish for yourself.”  — Confucius 

The Post had a comment from a blogger who I follow, named Chwenny here is her blog: http://chwennyland.com. If you are looking for another really good blog to follow look there. The comment the blogger left was one that let me know that this wisdom of Confucius I quoted was best applied with a little bit of compassion and she was right.

I love comments so post away.  Comments are great because they can get a conversation started and everybody will start thinking more, which is what I did when I read the comment. I got to thinking about compassion. I thought about two things in particular like what is compassion and why is it so important.

Compassion is the ability to feel for someone when they are in a desperate and troublesome place and the desire to alleviate their sufferings.

So what is it check.

Why is it important? Well it seems clear right? It is important for us to possess compassion while helping others with this compassion we will be more likely to hurt than help. I have heard it before “Next time you want to help me don’t”. I usually hear this after I hurt someone I am trying to help. Of course the hurt is not intentional but I can’t help but wonder if I had worked with a little more compassion could the hurt have been avoided.

Just something to think about

peace

john3c

“The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.” Dale Carnegie’s quote says it all. It seems the minute we start to argue we have gone from helpful to hurtful, productive to unproductive. All arguments are meaningless. One of the most popular books written by Dale Carnegie is “How to win Friends and influence people” and the book is clear on one thing arguments do not accomplish the books namesake.

A conversation is: defined as the interchange of thought through spoken word and the ability to talk socially with others. An argument is an oral disagreement or verbal opposition. I am surprised at how often I begin to speak to others and find my conversation changing from a conversation to an argument.

The major difference in an argument and dis agreement for me is that in a conversation each party voices their opinions and listens to others. Many say this can be accomplished through debate and arguments but they are wrong. In an argument each participant is not actively listening they are merely waiting for their moment to speak. The other major difference is the that at the end of the conversation everyone involved should feel edified from the experience. arguments end with one or both participants upset and usually only one walking away with a vapid fleeting smug feeling.

Today tomorrow and the day after tomorrow most of us will engage in many interactions with all kinds of people let’s make a concerted effort to keep these interactions social and when we feel the conversation venturing into the arena of an argument lets follow the advice of Dale and simply avoid the argument. You will be surprised at how much better you will see and be seen by the world.

peace

john3c